I’m a regional manager of c-stores, and lately I’ve noticed the vibe shifting. Team members are getting short with each other, gossiping more, or just giving the silent treatment. It’s not outright bullying, but it doesn’t feel healthy. How do I reset the tone and bring a sense of respect back into the workplace?
You’re right to pay attention. What you’re seeing is something many leaders face: workplace incivility. It’s not always loud or aggressive—more often, it shows up in small ways. Muttered comments. Dismissive attitudes. Side Eye. Blame. People shutting down instead of speaking up. But left unchecked, it chips away at trust, morale, and performance.
The good news? You don’t need to overhaul your culture—you just need to steer it. And that starts with a few intentional shifts in how your team communicates and connects. Here are four steps Leading NOW’s CEO shared at a recent Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) presentation that can help any leader bring more civility into the day-to-day:
- Set the tone. Make it clear what “respect” looks like on your team. Think: listening without interrupting, handling disagreements directly (not through gossip), and offering help without being asked. Even something as simple as greeting each other by name can go a long way.
- Model it. Your actions set the standard. If you stay calm in tough moments, ask questions instead of assigning blame, and show empathy when stress is high, your team will follow your lead—whether you realize it or not.
- Address the behavior. If someone crosses the line, say something—privately, respectfully, and sooner rather than later. Letting things slide sends a message that incivility is tolerated, and as one of my favorite quotes reminds us: “The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate.” (Gruenert & Whitaker)
- Reinforce the good. When team members show up with kindness, flexibility or grace under pressure—recognize it. Whether it’s a quick shoutout in a meeting or a quiet thank-you, positive feedback builds positive culture.
Final Word
Culture doesn’t come from mission statements—it comes from how we treat each other, day in and day out. As a leader, you have more influence than you think. With small, steady actions, you can build a workplace where people feel safe, respected, and proud to show up.
Lead On!
To Submit a Question
If you have a question for Julia, simply submit your question to Julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz. While we can’t promise she will be able to answer all of the questions she receives, our goal is to provide you with the insights and advice you need to have a successful career.
Julia Lazzara is the president of Leading NOW, an organization shaping the future of workplace dynamics by advocating women’s advancement and engaging male allies to bring gender balance to leadership. Leading NOW is a founding partner and educational content provider for CSP’s C-Store Women’s Event (CSW). Reach her at julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz.
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