If you’ve ever experienced a boss who wasn’t supporting your development goals or advocating for your ideas, you’re not alone. This month’s question addresses how to have those tough conversations and help you get on the right career track to achieve your leadership goals.
I have a superior who is not supporting me or advocating on my behalf for my leadership development, nor are they advocating for my ideas within the organization. How do I navigate this situation?
The first step is to request a meeting with your superior to discuss your concerns. In general, it’s best to start any conversation from a place of respect, keeping it constructive and focused. This fosters mutual respect, which can help both you and your superior align on your growth and ensure you have the support needed to keep your career trajectory moving in the right direction.
Here are several recommendations to help navigate the conversation:
1. Be courageous and have a direct conversation.
• Acknowledge your position: Recognize that addressing a lack of support from a superior can feel daunting, but taking the initiative is key.
• Set up the conversation thoughtfully: Request a meeting specifically to discuss your career growth and development needs.
• Express your commitment: Begin by reinforcing your dedication to the organization’s goals, aligning your growth with the team’s and company’s success.
2. Come to the conversation with concrete examples.
• Prepare specific instances: Outline situations where your ideas were not acknowledged or times when you felt a lack of support.
• Avoid assumptions: Frame these examples in a neutral tone, aiming to understand rather than accuse; use “I noticed” or “I observed” language.
• Link to potential outcomes: Emphasize how these instances impacted your ability to contribute fully and the missed opportunities for the team or organization.
3. Ask what you can start to do differently to earn the support of your superior.
• Invite constructive feedback: Show openness to understanding what’s needed to strengthen the relationship and what you can improve. When you receive feedback from your superior, be certain it is clear, precise and actionable. If it is not, you must press until you get the type of feedback that you need to make progress.
• Identify specific skills or qualities: Ask if there are areas you could enhance or additional competencies you might build to secure their confidence.
• Demonstrate willingness to adapt: Highlight that you are ready to make adjustments if needed, showing you’re proactive about development.
4. State where you are asking for support and ask whether your superior sees any barriers to supporting It
• Be clear and precise: Outline specific areas where their support would make a difference, such as advocacy for your ideas, leadership development opportunities, or visibility in higher-level meetings.
• Frame the ask around mutual goals: Emphasize how your development aligns with the team’s or organization’s objectives, demonstrating shared benefits.
• Seek transparency on challenges: Respectfully inquire if there are any concerns or organizational constraints that might prevent them from offering the support requested, opening a path for further understanding.
Having this kind of constructive conversation will empower you to take charge of your own career trajectory and help demonstrate to your superior your thirst for developing the skill sets and knowledge you need to be seen as a leader. Own it!
To Submit a Question
If you have a question for Julia, simply submit your question to Julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz. While we can’t promise she will be able to answer all of the questions she receives, our goal is to provide you with the insights and advice you need to have a successful career.
Julia Lazzara is the president of Leading NOW, an organization shaping the future of workplace dynamics by advocating women’s advancement and engaging male allies to bring gender balance to leadership. Leading NOW is a founding partner and educational content provider for CSP’s C-Store Women’s Event (CSW). Reach her at julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz.
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