My team is burned out, deadlines are slipping and I feel like I’m the one keeping everything from falling apart. I want to be a strong, supportive leader—but I’m exhausted, too. How do I build resilience in others when I’m barely holding it together myself?
If this question feels familiar, you’re not alone. I hear versions of it every day from women in every corner of the convenience-store ecosystem—whether they lead sales teams, manage store operations, negotiate supplier contracts or shape regulatory strategy.
Many of us are quietly carrying what I call the invisible weight: the emotional and operational load of leadership. It’s not just about driving performance. It’s about absorbing uncertainty. Buffering your team. Navigating change. Making things feel stable, even when they’re not.
And when the pressure rises—as it has across the c-store industry—that weight gets heavier. Here’s how to carry it without letting it pull you under.
1. Be Honest About the Pressure, Without Projecting It
There’s a fine line between being steady and being silent. When you say nothing, your team may fill in the blanks—and not in helpful ways. But when you acknowledge challenges with clarity and composure, you model what grounded leadership looks like.
You don’t need a speech. Just try:
- “This is a demanding stretch. Let’s focus on what matters most right now.”
- “We’re navigating a lot. I want you to know I see it—and we’re in it together.”
When people hear that you recognize the load, they’re more likely to stay engaged—and less likely to burn out.
2. Cut the Static and Focus Your Energy
In high-pressure moments, it’s easy to fall into reactive mode. But not everything urgent is important. Look for small energy drains that add up like:
- Processes you’re still managing because no one ever reassigned them.
- Meetings that don’t have a clear outcome.
- Tasks you’ve taken on by default, not by design.
Letting go of one or two low-impact responsibilities can restore the capacity you need for high-impact leadership. And yes, it sets a tone—your team takes permission from you to protect their energy, too.
3. Resilience Isn’t Solo Work—It’s Relational
There’s a common myth that resilience is about digging deep and pushing through. But research published in Harvard Business Review (Article: “The Secret to Building Resilience”) reminds us that one of the most powerful sources of resilience is connection.
Trusted relationships—the colleague you can be honest with, the peer who understands the pressure, the mentor who offers perspective—are not a luxury. They’re a buffer against burnout and a strategic asset in high-stakes environments.
When things are especially hard, ask:
- Who can I talk to that won’t try to fix it, but will listen well?
- Who brings clarity when I’m overwhelmed?
- Who reminds me of what I’m capable of?
Building those ties intentionally—even just one or two—can turn isolation into grounded momentum. You don’t need a dozen people. You need a couple who genuinely have your back.
4. Ground the Work in Meaning
Whether you’re managing people, product or policy, the pressure often flattens our sense of purpose. Work becomes about the next deadline, the next meeting, the next fire. And that’s when teams lose motivation—and leaders lose heart.
Resilience strengthens when people can reconnect to why their work matters.
Sometimes that’s about customers. Sometimes it’s about community. Sometimes it’s simply about pride in doing it well.
Even small cues can re-energize a group:
- “That contract you closed? It helps fund the next innovation.”
- “That shift coverage? It gave someone the flexibility they needed.”
Purpose fuels perseverance. Don’t underestimate the impact of reminding people (and yourself) that the work has weight—in the best way.
5. Protect the Asset: You
You can’t support others if you’re constantly depleted. Period.
Resilient leadership includes boundaries—saying no when the ask doesn’t align with priorities, building in moments to pause, and accepting help when it’s offered.
This isn’t about stepping back. It’s about leading with longevity in mind. Your job is not to run yourself into the ground—it’s to create conditions where you and your team can thrive.
One small shift—a reset routine, a blocked-out hour, a clearer delegation—can be the thing that helps you lead through pressure instead of under it.
Final Word
Leadership isn’t about carrying the invisible weight perfectly. It’s about learning how to share it wisely, speak to it openly and recover from it deliberately. You don’t have to hold it all together to prove you’re strong. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is say: “This is heavy. Let’s figure out how to carry it together.”
To Submit a Question
If you have a question for Julia, simply submit your question to julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz. While we can’t promise she will be able to answer all of the questions she receives, our goal is to provide you with the insights and advice you need to have a successful career.
Julia Lazzara is the president of Leading NOW, an organization shaping the future of workplace dynamics by advocating women’s advancement and engaging male allies to bring gender balance to leadership. Leading NOW is a founding partner and educational content provider for CSP’s C-Store Women’s Event (CSW). Reach her at julia.lazzara@leadingnow.biz.
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