Opinion: My Principles of Enlightened Living

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At some point, all of us go through life-changing experiences. Some of them are joyful, such as a new marriage or the birth of a child. Others are very painful and scary: sickness or death, divorce, even the loss of a job.

Early in my career, like many young business people, I was singularly focused on work. It was my No. 1 priority. I spent long hours, late nights and busy weekends trying to be the best, sell the most and be the most profitable of my peers.

Then, on March 13, 1993, my son Michael was born. Life-changing experience No. 1. Immediately, I understood what life was all about, and what was truly important. Mike became my first priority and work was now relegated to a distant but very important second.

Not enough years later, both of my parents passed. First my father, and then my mother. It left me, for the first time ever, without a safety net. Although biologically the youngest of my siblings, I was elevated to the leader, in charge of family affairs, advice and assurances. Life-changing experiences Nos. 2 and 3.

Then, in 2010, my wife and I separated, later to divorce. No longer would I daily see the little boy that I checked in on every morning and covered up and kissed every night before going to bed. We spent every possible moment together before that—son and dad, friend and friend. It was and remains the most difficult decision of my life. Life-changing experience No. 4.

About the same time, I began to think of my place in this world, and what my piece of it should be. I had over time become more introspective, and my focus on what was important had changed. Yes, work was very important, but other thoughts and priorities leapt in and took over as I searched for answers. I found strength and knowledge from varied sources, including books, lyrics and conversations with close friends and loved ones.

I decided to write a top 10 list of priorities, but I ended up with 18. I call them my 18 principles of enlightened living. I have carried them with me, posted them on my office wall, and spoken of them to others. I have tried to live up to these principles, which admittedly is difficult at times.

Principles in Action

On March 13, 2017, exactly 24 years after my son’s birth, I left the corporate world. I now find myself more free to concentrate on my principles while pursuing my new dreams. Perhaps I waited too long. After some reflection, I found that these 18 principles have not changed, but rather my focus has narrowed, staying truer to them daily, minute by minute.

Here are a few of my 18 principles:

Morality. Behave ethically and honestly no matter the consequences. My father told me long ago that the only thing you have is your word, and I have tried through my life to stay true to that. I look back at  my career and how many business dealings were handshakes. Some disappointed me, but mostly not. Take a chance.

Education. Continue to learn through others and yourself. I quit college twice, once to become a rock star. You can see how that worked out, but this is not about formal education. Everyone has a story, everyone has value, everyone has knowledge, everyone has a reason for being. Engage with them and learn.

Equality. Ensure that all of those around you are treated equally and fairly. Yes, you must treat them as such, but more important, when you see others being disadvantaged, you have a responsibility to speak out and take action—today more than ever.

Work. Make your work enjoyable. This one affects many areas of our lives, because we spend so much of our day at work, with our business partners and co-workers. Truly experience your day, at work, home or wherever your journey takes you. Immerse yourself in thoughtful meditation and reflection.

If I had not developed my list of 18  principles, would I still follow them? Of course, to some degree. But through the act of reflecting about what is important to me, writing them down and reviewing them  often, they became a part of me—part of who I am, and how I act every day.

What are your principles of enlightened living? If you want to see my complete list, send me an email.

There’s a postscript. Fortunately for me, I found a wonderful woman to love, who loves me back in so many ways, and shares my principles. We married in December. Life-changing experience No. 5.

John Schaninger is owner of c-store consultancy The Schaninger Group. Reach him at john@theschaningergroup.com.

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