Convenience Stores Have Made Some Foolish Moves. Will 2024 Be Any Different?

In what has turned out to be a surprisingly long career of covering the convenience-store industry, one of the guilty pleasures for me of chasing the news that our readers can use to improve their businesses and to serve their customers better is to watch the calendar creep up to April 1 each year. It has become a game of waiting for when the first WTF (“what the fool”?) shoe will drop ahead of the wave of April Fools’ Day tomfoolery that c-store retailers and suppliers see fit to unleash upon a world sometimes forgetful of the date, sometimes gullible and sometimes skeptical about the “new” products or business moves that the companies appear to be announcing.

At CSP over the years, we’ve chronicled many gags that garnered guffaws, and some that fell flat. Here is a rambunctious review, a small sampling of a few memorable convenience-store retailer pranks from years gone by. So cue up The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and join me on a fool’s errand, a foolhardy adventure into the past to refresh our collective memories before this year brings the funny (watch for 2024’s crop of jokes coming soon).

But first …

How’s this for foolish? Or crazy like a fox? Convenience-store retailer 7-Eleven has already weighed in for 2024, upping its April Fools’ Day game this year by taking the joke to the next level, shrewdly announcing—and with great sincerity—on March 27, six days ahead of April 1 to gain maximum buzz and puzzlement, the release of Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water.

The beverage is apparently part of a real new lineup of 7-Select sparkling waters developed in collaboration with Albany, New York-based Miracle Seltzer, or so the company said. It “combines the delicious and mouthwatering experience of 7-Eleven’s iconic Big Bite Hot Dog into one refreshing beverage—ketchup and mustard included. Gone are the days of alternating bites of a hot dog with sips of a beverage. Now those on the go can swap the bun for bubbles.”

Other flavors include Lemon Lime, Green Apple and Sweet Orange.

“While crafting flavors like Lemon Lime and Sweet Orange came more easily, our journey took an unexpected turn with the creation of Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water—a daring flavor that pushes the boundaries of flavor innovation,” said Marissa Jarratt, 7 executive vice president and chief marketing and sustainability officer for Irving, Texas-based 7-Eleven Inc. “7-Eleven is constantly in pursuit of innovative, unique experiences for our customers, and the 7-Select x Miracle Seltzer lineup is sure to delight even the most adventurous of palates. We’re excited for customers to embark on this flavor adventure and experience their favorite snack in a whole new form.”

7-Eleven is coyly sticking to its story.

“At this time, we can confirm that 7-Eleven has indeed created four new 7-Select sparkling waters including Lemon Lime, Green Apple, Sweet Orange and Hot Dog, a twist on one of 7-Eleven’s most beloved snacks, the Big Bite Hot Dog,” a spokesperson told CSP Daily News. “More details on the availability of the Big Bite Hot Dog flavor specifically will be revealed on April 1.”

The rest of the 7-Select x Miracle Seltzer lineup is now available at select 7-Eleven stores, the company said.

So is it a joke, or is it real? Or a bit of both? For now, you decide. Meanwhile …

In 2021, Family Express, Valparaiso, Indiana, announced the availability of extra-crust pizza. The fine print across the bottom of the package, however, reads: “Not valid ever. Please don’t ask us to do this. The weirdos in marketing thought this would be funny for an April Fools’ Day joke. We immediately regret everything about the idea of extra crust.”

2021: An April Fools’ Day Spin on Pizza

Beating 7-Eleven by several years on the sparkling water front, Casey’s General Stores, Ankeny, Iowa, in 2019 announced Pizza Bubbles, available in Pepperoni, Supreme and Taco Pizza flavors.

2019: C-Stores Deliver ‘Fool-Service’ Fun on April 1

In 2018, Sheetz, Altoona, Pennsylvania, unveiled a Savory Bacon Swiss and Boom Boom Sauce-filled chocolate bunny. “Hop in while supplies last,” it said.

2018: 14 Brands That Fooled Around on April 1

In a “pour attempt at humor,” Stewart’s Shops, Ballston Spa, New York, in 2017 said it was introducing a new product, a hot version of its cold brew.

2017: 9 C-Store Retailers That Played the Fool on April 1

In 2016, QuickChek, Whitehouse, New Jersey, said it was launching 3D printed subs through its mobile app.

2016: Did Convenience Stores Sell the Laughs?

In 2015, Kwik Trip, La Crosse, Wisconsin, said it was introducing Bacon Roast Coffee.

2015: April Fools’ Day 2015